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Joanna from Ashburn Age: 28. Hi, everybody. I would like to find a lover and a friend and a desirable man.

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Everything Cosmo told you about sex is bullshit. I'm sure I picked it up in a conversation in the schoolyard, or maybe in an errant porno magazine I had gotten my hands on. It's possible the woman enjoys some kind of lofty, weightless feeling, being tossed about like a sack of potatoes, but as a guy who could probably hump a sack of potatoes if I were so inclined, I'm not seeing the benefit. But none of us have graduated to the point of being really turned on by a partner coming close and breathily saying, "I wanna fuck you like a spider. Has Started Doing On Its Own Artificial intelligence has been the bogeyman of science fiction since before it even existed for real.

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Linda from Ashburn Age: 22. Sweet kitty fulfill all your fantasies. I'll be glad to meet you.

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But none of us have graduated to the point of being really turned on by a partner coming close and breathily saying, "I wanna fuck you like a spider. Don't make me do this again. The terrible reality of pool sex is far removed from the sexalicious fantasy. Artificial intelligence has been the bogeyman of science fiction since before it even existed for real. Buy the Cracked De-Textbook to learn more. Making sex into a weird game of Twister seems kind of like you're going against the grain anyway. No one needs to play Marco Polo amidst your love jellyfish.

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Helena from Ashburn Age: 27. All good day! Looking for a lover, all the details in correspondence.

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Nikki from Ashburn Age: 31. If you like exciting erotic adventures in bed and thrills, then you will definitely like me.

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Carmen from Ashburn Age: 28. Charming, attractive optimist, with a good sense of humor, wants to meet a man close in spirit! I love sports, hot sex and new emotions.

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Pool parties are fun, after all, and when you're in a pool, odds are you're at least half undressed anyway, so it's like an invitation to sexy times. According to a pamphlet I found in the bathroom of the library downtown, there's a lot more going on in sex than you may have guessed. When you ease into a 69 a golden light may flood the room and a soft, warming hum may fill the air to comfort you both and egg you on in your oral machinations, but likely most people fit together like a bulldog trying to get into a chihuahua's sweater. Of course, in the sex way the barrel is a vagina and the cream is, you know, sexing.

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Kelly from Ashburn Age: 32. I am in search of a caring friend and a desired lover. I really want to feel welcome.
Description: This seems like it makes sense at first, because who among us doesn't get all horned up by the smell of chlorine and the threat of stewing in tepid urine. Once you're locked in place, I guess you just vibrate and hum, or continue butting at each other like mountain goats trying to establish superiority. As an impartial third-party swimmer, I can say with absolute certainty that if I were swimming along and ran face first into a semen barge, I don't give a fancy fuck how much chlorine is in that pool, I'm going to shout obscenities like a drunken sailor stubbing his toe. His head rests on the floor so he's able to see what he did wrong in pursuing this position. If you somehow make actual butter, please see a doctor. And better for you than margarine.
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